This has got to be one of the ugliest vehicles we’ve ever seen: the slant nose Hummer. One of only two to have ever been produced – thank God – it features all the mods that no right-thinking person would want on their car.
More than $185,000 has been invested – yes, invested – in this piece of crap, which boasts a beefed-up turbodiesel engine, stainless exhaust, nasty aluminium air intake snorkel and ostrich skin interior trim.
And so that everyone can see the huge plum that’s bought it, that rear roof is a three-piece removable hardtop.
The only good thing about the slant nose Hummer – apart from there only being two – is its awesome train horn.
If your interest hasn’t been diminished by the revelations of all these, er, goodies, then feel free to go and bid for it on eBay.
Or simply buy it now, for a mere $89,000.
Bargain.
195hp from an 8 cylinder Diesel!!
“This just proves that the Americans can’t make anything aerodynamic and good-looking” – Corvette ZR1?
So, if it’s one of 2 ever “produced”, am I right in thinking this is an official product? It looks like one of those crappy low-budget replicas from the old Carbage section! (Bring. It. Back.)
And everything looks soooo cheap and horrid inside! I’d rather spend $89,000.00 on penny sweets.
*reads eBay page* – oh ok, it’s a SEMA item, not official.
lol – “gets more attention than all other exotics.” – Er, yeah, not the right kind of attention.
“beefed up Turbo Diesel engine, GAW custom tuned computer engine magement system. Stainless exhaust system” – and yet a pathetic 195bhp! One Nine Five! Is that even possible for a Turbo V8?
“Yes this is a Hard Top convertible!!!” – Wow, revolutionary indeed. *Hides all other CCs from seller’s view*
And who pimps a car by giving it 16″ steel wheels?
The train horn is pretty win though. I want one for my 1989 Mini!
[Last comment, honest] It states in the History Report that the engine is 6.5litres – so that’s 30bhp/litre!
To put that in perspective, a lot of GM spor- sorry, muscle cars have the LS3 engine, a 430bhp 6.2; that makes nearly 70bhp/litre. And the Range Rover V8 TDi 3.6 (a justifiable rival) makes 272bhp, i.e. 75.5bhp/litre
i dont think its any uglier that say a rats arse! or a normal hummer… iv got it! call it a hummbug cos it looks like a hummer thats bin buggered by a beach buggy!! ha…ha
Head scratchingly terrible!
Did you see the dog on the bonnet? What is that about – dog ugly?
y do ppl even think of doing such horrendous crimes to cars like dis n put oder ppl in dire need of an eye doctor?!?!?!?
Ladies and Gentlemen I present a Darwin Award Winner to the man who built this car. Cause there’s no way in hell a man with taste THIS bad is EVER going to be able to reproduce. And to top it off – whoever buys it won’t either since no sane person will ever get in it! Making this car a wonderful Gene-pool cleaner!
take it to an Army range, or to Afghanistan, and use it for target practice.
With big guns.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm tasty….
Thinking about this, if the first one looked so bad, what would possess anyone to build a second one?
http://transmission.blogs .topgear.com/2009/07/01/s how-three-filmings-wrappe d/#comment-19291
Why would you buy a Hummer?
@15 .. because you can..
ps. why do ppl smoke cigars too big for their faces ? ..or buy lambos ?.. or spend 50k on a saxo ? or wear white trainers with spikey hair ?? why is this thing worse than all the above ?? I bet saab owners will love it.. it IS different
for all the clever ones.. BACK TO YOUR MONDEOS !!!
who in the right mind would buy that. Its one of the worst lookin cars of all time plus if u got hit by the thing u would be killed, yer its got a rounded front but that will make u go up onto the bonet and then you would be hit by the big flat window. why on earth would humvee make such a big piec of junk. Oh sorry its American (BIG) good job its got a big interior ehhh.
wow, a lot of anti american sentiment up here.. are you all from iran
?? This is like picking on the dumb kid at school.. though I’m not quite sure some of you know what one of those is.. Anyway, had this lovely vehicle been made in britain.. well forget it it’s too big for eu standard egos.. and the rust would have probably finished it off before it came out of the shed.. so back to building german minis assuming we survive the recession..:D wuf wuf wuf
Im American and i think this looks like shit. i mean holy damnit this is ugly. and only 185 bhp?? the hell? How can you make an engine that big so weak.
im all for supporting my country but holy shit this is just awful
This looks better as an ice cream truck.
@geronimo:
No, we’re not from Iran. We’re from the big nation of people with common sense =P
Still, whatever people says, wherever this crap comes from… good god… its just wrong in every way…
Crap me, kids, don’t look at the screen
Oh! My God! Now That Is An Ugly Car! And Imagine It As A Limo!!!
Buy it and destroy it!!!
Then there will only be one of this godawful atrocity left!!!
It could be worse they are tinking to rebadge dodge as alfa romeo’s
geronimo, your dull, unoriginal US-patriotism is boring. Just admit this is a silly car no matter what country you’re in or from.
The low HP makes sense. A stock H1 puts out 205 hp and 440 ft/lbs of torque. It doesn’t need HP for speed, but it needs lots of torque to accelerate such a large mass. And as an American I think I might be able to track down who made this and strangle them with a throttle cable.
I wonder if you got drunk, would it look any better? Nah, I doubt it. It will still look like a big red baboon’s ass!!!
yankee dude L.. common sense.. not so common… were it to prevail we’d all be driving tata nano’s run on duracells, that is when not taking the bus or even worse the tube…
mikeado,you’re right, this beast is not the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen on for wheels but than again neither is the vauxhall corsa or porsches panamera.Implying that all americans are fat because this car is a bit bigger than what our eyes are used to is a bit like saying english people eat tea for dinner.. ignorant. I like it because it’s in your face, it’s anti establishment..it yells screw the recession, sod enviornmentalists, it’s plain old fashioned fun.. someone actually came up with the idea of how to make something grotesque and did it. It takes balls, and even though it doesn’t do 0-60 in a millisecond and has fewer horses than a sheiks stables it has charm which is more than could be said about 99% of the crap on the market.. it’s a freak and I happen to like freaks
..perfect for your sunday afternoon joint !
26.could be worse.. hehehehehehehehe
I believe the designers term is. Shit.
I can understand why some people buy a Hummer, but THAT one?
And I’m not sure where the “Implying that all americans are fat because this car is a bit bigger than what our eyes are used to is a bit like saying english people eat tea for dinner: ignorant” bit came from. No one said that at all!
nope no one did say that.. have a peek at 1 and 19.. and you’d have me admitting things I do not believe.. would you believe it ?!
so here it is oh yeah, oh my god, only in america, what a shite engine, and god is it big and ugly.. wuf wuf wuf want me to fetch and roll over ?
and please don’t bother answering..
as for the rest of the herd up here.. ignore hibbards scrible, take a close look at the pics again.. now close your eyes and imagine jezza building it.. and tell me you wouldn’t want one just for fun
for crying out loud it’s even got a train horn !!!!!!! subzero !!!!!
it looks like a frog!
I think the Americans can make a few good cars but the majorityof it is complete and utter rubbish. i recentley bought a hummer h3 and they are incredible things to be in but this one looks awful
hmmmmm nice ,they obviously have the worlds best top styling guru ,i bet aston martin and ferrari are pushing blank cheques thru his door so he can go and go work for them…….or should he just be shot…did he have a hand in the design for the PT cruiser convertible ? yet another damn fine piece of pencil work..c ya
I saaayyyy! hmmmmm.. you my friend are beyond all critique, the crown to top them all.. this is supposed to be a reflection on cars.. so hibbard sparks it off by scribling filth flowering filth flowering filth, comment no1 already is soaked in prejudice and it goes on and on about who is dumber ??? Good god, what has the world become ???
Cars???
yeah right..
L O fckn L
You lame ass Brits trun EVERYTHING on here into political BS!
I didnt expect any real commentary,you uniformed UK IDIOTs are too busy pointing ur fingers at everyone else!!
truth hurts?? LOL !!!
wow hmmm..
you realy cut to the chase huh?
so the BMW design team got their hands on a Hummer and thought.. *how can we make this a unique, one of a kind cross bread like we did with the X6* and produced that.. rite?
and to Hmmm, the brits made Aston Martin, Jaguar, TVR (who’s cars actually look quite good despite people saying they are impossibly impossible to drive) and the americans have done what for the world except manage to turn petrol into noise? we could have used that petrol in an Aston. or a Jag. or something that actually works.
Oh my god. I’m glad I haven’t eaten breakfast yet, because that thing is absolutely fugly. Now I have to dash because I looked at it again and last night’s dinner is making a bid for freedom :-/
Oh it’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning, fabulous, prettier than Alfas and Jags.
And that was not sarcastic at all.
Really.
[Someone burn it, I'll pay you.]
Looking at it basically feels like a sledgehammer to the face.
How do the Americans manage to do this? If they’re so hung up on good looks, with their obsession with orange celebrities, with perfect symetrical plastic teeth, with botox practically injected into their eyeballs…Why doesn’t this rub off onto their cars aswell. The only current good looking American car I can think of – is the Corvette, but even that’s a bit like a face-lift, because it looks fairly neat from the front, (if not a bit featureless) but when you go ’round the back, it just looks like the old-one – a bit like botox face, and a turkey neck
hmmmmm were you perhaps refused a uk visa at some point ?
ideology.. you can think ??!
It may be too big, ugly, underpowered and nonsensical for words, but damn is it soviet red! I wondered what this nightmare reminded me of and now I realise: Tatra. Anyone remember those? I think they were Bulgarian or something. Big VW Beetle-shaped 6 passenger limos, aircooled 3.5L V8 in the back. Oh, and pre-WWII so they had drum brakes.
haha I see the tatra resemblence.. I think they wer czech though.. relatively highT for warsaw pact.. def. had abs brakes though and I think the engine was air cooled.. they came in black and black and something like a 30+ years waiting list:D
OMG that is without doubt one of the worst or the worst car i have ever seen (actually its better i didnt see it or i might be in hospital now). On taking an err 2nd look at the pic i thought all its missing is the big stickers on the bonnet and sides stating “Im gay do you want to come for a ride?” The most horrible car ever, and for only $89,000…
Also i noticed the cool barchetta design, notice how the back is now the front lol
come on, own up, who stuck the face of a frog to the hummer ??!?
that is one of the ugliest cars ive ever seen.
Owww my eyes! The goggles do nothing!
I didnt expect any real commentary,you uniformed UK IDIOTs are too busy pointing ur fingers at everyone else!!
truth hurts?? LOL !!!
And you septics are too busy pointing your guns at everyone else!!
Truth hurts!
Not Laughing
I can’t believe the rear bumper, it has a gap measured in cm/inches and I thought the point of a body kit was to “connect” the bodywork to the bumpers/ground?
I really really can’t stand stupid. I don’t understand what the point of this is, none of these mods seem to have made it more capable in any way (increased fuel economy maybe? Although I can think of cheaper 4-seaters with better economy.)
Ugh. To quote Joel Robinson from Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Catching Trouble in a Bag short, Teenage Caveman episode) “Come on guys, I am deeply ashamed of my race right now”, and “We apologize to everybody everywhere for this”.
Can’t the people interested in this just wear Kaleidoscope glasses and see everything in malformed glory? (Oh no, I think I may be inspiring them, don’t do it!)
Message to Hmmmm (41):
4GODS SAKE MAN you americans have a go at us when you have a nasty shitty piece of american engineering right in front of you.
Maybe the reason we beat you in Le Man 2007 08 was because we can make cars that don’t do 0.5 mpg and make cars that can win races. Then you come up with this Chitty Chitty bang bang and billshut us.
Fecking yanks
Ugh, UK bs US fights are soooo BORING. Can’t we just laugh at this godawful car?
i bet old arnie swatzawhateverhisnameis has got one, it it me or has someone crashed a hummer into a dune buggy, leaving its headlights, smoothed the sharp ding out and said “look a new car, and ive made another” the dude who built it needs shooting, twice for good measure.
that hmmm dude gets on my tits, is he calling us brits idiots, lets see what did we give them, pretty much alot, what did they give us, apart from nice muscle cars, i seem to recall its cholesterol and diabetes
It looks like something you’d find on a kid’s cartoon. It’s just wrong!!!
THIS is a SEMA modded car? usually the stuff that goes on display at SEMA is great, but this is just a crime against humanity. the old H1, although a big, unneccesary thing, wasn’t that ugly, it was just big.
a Turbo V8 diesel that makes 195 bhp? XD quoting Jeremy “these days European engineers can get that power from a pencil sharpener.”
it is as ugly as my mum
Hey you Americans!
So one of your countrymen ruined a car with a hideous after-market tuning job. Take it with some humor. Even I as a German can do that- had a good laugh at this for example:
http://www.topgear.com/uk /car-news/gembella-cayen ne-2009-04-24
But come to think of it, we at least squeezed out more than 195 hp before ruining the looks ;P
I am not antiamerican.
It is just that people in europe do not design cars after 20 cans of strong beer. Cos that how it ends.
Only if it’s a army vehicle it’s cold a Humvee. Made by AM General. If it’s a civilian version made by Am General it’s cold a Hummer H1. If it’s a peace off crab made by General Motors it’s cold a Hummer H2 ore H3. They only bought the name. The red monster here isn’t a Humvee but a H1. Get it straight first!
oh c’mon..the guy went into his shed and glued some plastic on his hummer and sparyed it orange for a laugh… and here we get ppl going into a pseudo-technical frenzy about design and engine tuning..puhlease where’s your sense of humour ? Than again most of you..(brits and amis) will poo your pants laughing watching people fart. Hooo !! I said Poo !!! Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha hahahahaha
@van driver.. no, we do it the day after..with a massive hangover..plenty of examples to go around have a look out your windscreen next time you’re on the road again
take za chermanz and the ciaos out of the equation and what you’re left with is really quite painful..
and respect to the odd ones out…
this is the worst hummer after H2……. It should be the volkswagen beetle SUV
Guys, The Engine in a hummer isnt designed for out and out power.
You’ll notice that while it only has 195hp its got 430 lb-ft of torque
This lets get up huge inclines and drive about with ton of troops/armor/SAM launchers/rappers + bling.
(also helps when said rappers fit 26″ spinners and load the back up with ICE)
Not that i’m sayin that the bodywork on this one doesn’t look totally awful – cos she aint a looker.
nope, it’s a head turner..:D
i live in new york, and ill agree this hummer is absolutely hideous. actually, in my opinion every car thats ever rolled off of a hummer production line should never have been built in the first place.
This is the product of somebody so desperate to be different from all the other hummer driving meat heads in Beverly Hills e.t.c. that he’ll actually make his car look worse!
Thats not for kids not see
If you took away the front, then maybe the back, and also then the middle, it would look so much better.
arent all humves ugly